Tuesday, March 20, 2007

IWW Raw Blog by Ray Rhodes

IWW Raw Blog: 3/19/07
by Ray Rhodes

Tonight we are promised Wrestlemania Reversal, where Cena and Michaels will face someone from their upcoming Wrestlemania opponents Wrestlemania past. Got it? Cena will face Benoit, Michaels will face JBL.

HBK's out first and here comes JBL's limo. Bradshaw says he's wearing his $8,000 custom suit and he goes on to cut a $8,000 dollar promo on HBK. Those will wrote him off all those years ago...SLAP YOUR MAMA! It leads to the Superkick which is fun because it's not if it's going to happen—it's when. Great opener here and all the Internet Marks relax that JBL didn't wrestle and surprise them.

Edge and Orton discuss tonight's Last Change Battle Royal and it's for...Edge's Money in the Bank spot. Seriously, if I'm anyone else in the match I'm pissed that I'm getting the shaft but still expected to put my body on the line. Hmm, I wonder if Edge is going to roll out of the ring (or never get in) and wait until the end to enter the Rumble, easily winning?

Bobby Lashley becomes the third person to break the Masterlock, but the only one to do it "legally". Man, if Hacksaw couldn't do it...I didn't think anyone could. This would have been a big deal—before Masters' got suspended and buried when he came back. Good thought, though.

Eugene spills some coffee on Mr Mcmahon in the back, and if there's one thing we remember about spilling coffee, it's Kane and Jericho. Neither of these men are involved tonight, however, and I expect Eugene to be in a bad way by the end of the night.

Edge wins the Last Chance Battle Royal to the surprise of maybe one guy who's never seen wrestling, RAW, a WWE Battle Royal, or Edge before. Man, I miss Lita. Edge fakes an injury and slides in just in time to throw Flair over. I just have to say, Flair got clotheslined over the top rope and managed to stay on the apron. I was impressed. Edge is going to Wrestlemania...still!

Eugene feels the wrath of Umaga and McMahon snaps, shaving Eugene's head. Zip suggests a new Basham or perhaps the third Highlander?

The Internet was abuzz over real life heat between Candice and Melina all week. Some were adamant that since they weren't in a program, the HEAT was LEGIT. Then, they did the angle on Raw. Another odd commercial break as they return and Melina and Candice are mid-way through their Bra-and-Panties match. Which Melina wins. But don't worry! Here comes Ashley for a STARE DOWN. Khali makes his way to the ring to inflict violence but upcoming HOFer Jerry Lawler makes the save only to get consumed by Khali. The only thing left was his Obnoxious Shirt, which Khali spit out.

Jeff Hardy and Orton have a match but at this point me and my girlfriend's ferret has decided to go under the refrigerator and not come out. Jeff Hardy hits a leap frog leg drop off a ladder for some reason. Eh, look it up if you don't know. The WWE is trying to get as much mileage off Hardy before he GETS ADDICTED AGAIN. Smart business plan.

After a decent match, Cena makes Benoit tap-tap-tap. HBK and Cena have an amusing tease of their finishers before JBL announces next week, it's Cena and HBK v Undertaker and Batista. It's also McMahon v Lashley.

Final Thoughts: Decent build-up for Wrestlemania but at this point, you're either sold or you aren't. I'm just ready for the damn thing. I give it 4 Garvin Stomps on the week to weigh it on at about a B.

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